Social training

(My boy isn’t too keen on social training… so I wrote this poem for him. It made him smile).


I’ve identified a lack of small talk. Chitchat. We need to have a conflab,

a chin wag, chew some fat. Look at me as I natter. Why not join in the chatter?

Have a blabber, it’s good to rattle, spread a bit of tittle tattle. I’m your intervention

and it’s my sole intention to provide the tools you need to converse, initiate social

discourse and ultimately succeed. I’ll sow the seeds for conversation so in any

situation you’ll be able to forge new relationships. Just listen closely to my tips.

Registration plates aren’t necessarily a conversation topic others choose

although very interesting (I’m sure), the desired outcome is to engage, not bore.

It would display that you are socially clever if you could gab on about the weather.

No, not a scientific explanation, or data from your weather station…

Start with ‘looks like it might rain,’ or maybe ‘turned out nice again.’

Let’s role play – pretend I’m actually a friend, the working week draws to its end,

you look at me, smile, and then you say ‘what are your plans for Saturday?’

Show me you’re interested with your eyes (this indicates keenness for my reply)

and when I say I’m going to town, try your best to hide that frown. Most of us

like to go shopping, hang out in cafes, drink some coffee. I’m sure if we carry

on this way, it’s something you could achieve one day.


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